Guitar riffs heard with straining ears through insulated walls... if only I could break them down.

That's a cool band; and I like the EMO name. They're pretty grooving. I'm becoming an indie junkie. I was downloading yesterday and I clogged my computers system thing, and it froze because I kept changing songs and websites. Must get the fix!The Fix... there should be a band called that. Or is there? Ah... ok. But, I'm in two bands that lack either a) vocals that will sing anything other than the beatles or b) bass and lead guitar and vox. But Vic and my band is Nerd Rockers Anonymous, and Meghan and mine is The Wednesdays. How cool, eh? I think I'll make a Wednesdays shirt this weekend, with non-erasable sharpie, so it won't bleed in the wash like my Nerd Rocker one. If only we practiced/exsisted entirely. Hmm...****School was mind numbing,as always. I thought my scene in drama was w/ Kevin on FRIDAY but it was today, but Mr. Dereiux was absent! Yay god! I broke a screw off my flute and my whole thumb key plate fell off, I had to go get it replaced today. But Mr. Brown wasn't in school either! Thank god. Again...******Ohhh, and best fucking news EVER! I am GOING to the vines and Rooney show! OH YES! OH YES! OH YES (orgasm sounds) Rooney! Vines! ROONEY (vines) ROONEY vines *****Look at this boy: Who would NOT want to see him hold a guitar and sing? I know that pictures dorky yet it makes him so much more appealing...oy. Oy the Roy. Yes, I am a terrible shallow girl. But he did some cool indie films with Sofia Coppola. And he's pretty... The drummer from Mr. Varsity left a note on my LJ, which made me feel special... must remember, the pretty rockers are mere mortals...pretty mortals...Great beauty if truly an affliction. (unhappy pout.)Spiffy.sLiM

Further Seems forever

Take the Five Iron Frenzy personality test!I am ever so proud I found that test. But Keith is the cute one.Ah, the last day of block scheduling is upon us. I weep. Hah. No, ok. I had to play football for an hour and a half, how's that for torture? Yeah, I know. Who ever said, hmm, we could most likely make this ball oblong, so whatever idiot actually wanted to play this game would look like the true arse they are!Smart bastards.Not that I wanted to play. Having my jaw broken by nicole ashwell was not on my to do list. It was a perfect day... and then he came on the scene, and ruined our whole night.**** Let's see, what else? Meghan and I worked on our newest master-minded creation. Oh, the dreams it incubates. Let's get out of here. (I'm sorry, I keep quoting the song I was listening to earlier.)Spiffy.Amanda

The last day of April I found myself lonely...and emo...

Wow, I feel almost cool for not updating for such a long time- but I just had to tell about the greenday concert.Alright, sell outs or not, they have perfected the live show. Plus, Billie (that is how you spell it, eh?) Joe's six pack reveled did wonders. They got people from the audience to play their instruments, oh, to have Mike Drints sweaty arms telling me which notes to play! But, when Billie was all 'I want 300 more of you fuckers down on the floor!' our whole row rushed the gaurds and I hoped over the 3 foot divider, and I just ran and got sweaty dancing and hoping and screaming 1,1,2,1,2,3,4! It was so great! And they played brainstew which is my favorite song and I forgot all this shit that kind of hoardes away my ME time and I just danced and watched 3 guys turn a jaded, emo-hating (Jimmy eat world hating) crowd into this total rock club. It was SO sweet. I mean, I lack the words. I went to the weezer concert and I am SURE I would have enjoyed that as much, if not more, if my lame brother would of let me go on the floor. I didn't really ask, but that was my first big big concert and he was scared I'd get killed. I was still young, unexperienced concert goer, see. But now I've been to quite a few, and shows too, and Rooney is on sunday, and i'm just exploding with show love!!!!School... wait, what fucktard would want to talk about school?? I'm thinking about Billie making orgasm noises and Robert Shwartzman (now Robert Carmine) singing Sorry Sorry to me in a week! Jeez, duur!SPIFFY!Slim

"How's it going?"___me___"It's going. Just not anywhere important, is all."

I wish he would just come online right now; and I wish that I could just say hello: and I wouldn't need excuses and a quirky comment and an I'm sorry to bother you to appease him. I just wish we had something in common-- something I could see or hold or taste late at night to reassure me there is a thread of life holding us together- spanning the massive chasm between us.********


Visionary, revolutionary, vigilante - these descriptions all fit you well. You are thoroughly disgusted with society and humanity as a whole, and you have several rather diabolical plans to reshape it to fit your designs. You're probably a loner, and most people think you're crazy. That's just because they don't understand, though, and you'll show them someday anyway. Heh heh heh. You are known to become very passionate about many causes, have torrid love affairs, and be seen as a either a demagogue or a hero to the proletariat masses.</td>
Be cool! Take the What Do You Want Out Of Life? Quiz*************Oh the excitement.Today was awesome: you can read all about it in Meghans journal, so I'll just break it down to we got to play volleyball during band with seniors who have nice bleached hair and don't mock you for being a dumbfuck.LachrymaticSoda: what's the point of going up and down a dead end street?NerdRocker145: to reach the end, I suppose.*******I worked on my drums a bit today before the neighbors got pissed; I worked out some fills that are just high hat snare double beats with a crash etc... Not very exciting or fucking virtuoso like; but I guess some people just cannot be pleased with the laments.My real player is spazzing out and I cannot listen to music; I was listening to Charlie Brown and digging it, and Mr. Varsity but it's all fucked now. My eight bucks for my nifty iodine shirt got sent back and since I have no money; I have to use it. Oh well. I am going to goodwill tomorrow w/ Tom. Then a dinky chruch show w/ Kris but you never know when some crazy kids will come in and make it fun.... well, that will probably be Kris and my job.Hehe! 134 pages of the Emo Diaries! I have to write entry 40 this weekend. How terribly good of us; and yet---how terribly sad...I'm geting pissed at everyone in my group for excluding tom, except for Darwin (zach,) who'll argue with anyone. Just because his arms are around my shoulders and I nip his ear doesnt make us in-human or retarded, we can still talk. And they all just walk away! Like today; we all started in a big circle in the middle of the forum, and by the time lunch was over we were backed against the stairs b/c we had to keep following will and kristen etc. You know; I'm getting sick of will's shit too, sometimes. He's beautiful, I admit it, I don't see why the boy can't just get a date for gods sake if he must spread slander about tom and I. Lorah Horton on improv can barley contain herself around him, etc etc etc... I just get sick of being ragged on with Tom, for liking him. Excuse me because I got lucky.I'm just on weird terms with Kristen, or I feel I am, because of that insensitve entry she posted. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be condescending and yobbo-esque. It just turned out that way and made me feel pretty worthless. I guess she didn't mean it--- just all this stuff about Kristen being better than me; I mean, I get it from my PARENTS! So when SHE tells ME I'm bad at something its like, oh. I guess I really am a retarded shit.*****Nonetheless, Here I am. Alone on a friday.I guess I bitch too much.I'm tired and frustrated and stupid, so I guess I'll retire to the cool sheets and sad emo I so adore.Amanda

I am no longer broken; I am no longer whole; I am anything but original, I have been sold.

Loyal Frisby changed all their songs and now they all suck. Too many bass solos.Today was full schedule, but my math test was postponed and I shall fail it; I must try to escape it- oh any excuse; anyone will do- if only I could take it on tuesday. The key to being excused from a test is not acting panicked. Make a long LONG list of questions on the material, written down and approach the teacher with a pen and notepad-"Mr(s)____, I was going over this material for the last time last night and I found all these questions- I don't know how I will pass If I don't get the answers-(begin to ask)"PS- I am master at this- I once got a extra french book, tore out the pages with some key material on them, and claimed I could not study because my book was a mess. I took the test a week later. I recieved an A.I am evil, but it is necessary to beat the system, you must be evil.Mr. Brown was gone and except for Kendel Mygosomethingrather cramping our groove, meghan and I went and skated around the locker room. Jen and Angela stood by the door and fretted that we looked like we wear lifting wallets. I then pointed out that Jennifer was wearing skimpy size 1 pants with no pockets. FUCK! I was trying to listen to Charlie Brown gets a valentine ( i dont like the name, to many words and the sure to come copyright battles) and I got a parental adivsory warning! It skipped song one! FUCK YOU MP3.com facisits!So I got to go skating with Meghan after school; oh glorious skating, gossip and taking funny pictures. We bought milkshakes and cheese its and apples and sat in Evies and read cosmo and laughed. And then more glorious skating and we watched TPrincess Diaries at home. Then the play which was good; at least I got in free, and all I had to do was hand out programs.Just watching pavement get out of my way and hear gravel crunching makes me forget...well...It just makes me forget some stuff.Get up.Amanda

Blood boils over

Plus, Slim wasn't really into it like I was, because whereas I could've palyed for like an hour more, she kept asking if we could leave for Applebee's. At rock camp, half the people would skip half of lunch to just jam, which I thought was really cool that they were just as dedicated and into music as me! Oh, so suddenly I am this under-dedicated retard. I was HUNGRY! I wanted FOOD! ♠If this works, My mood went ↓It was forever ago and she's holding it against me because her brother is selfish and won't play with her. I'm less angry than sad. No, nevermind.I'M MAD TOO.No, sad. More das than dam. Reverse.I just feel like I'm failing at everything and school is a mess and life is a mess, my sister is moving out again and I thought vic was my friend. I mean she is and I doubt she really meant- well, she probably did mean it. I guess I'm just a lowly slacker.My sis is moving out to sonoma and I feel like she is walking out of my life forever; I mean I went through periods of not seeing her for a year or so. I haven't seen Richard in 4 years. They say he is getting better but when I talk to him, which is rarely, he never sounds ok.'I don't know what else to say... please just get away...' A song that just came on. Bass solo.BASS IS BAD because you need drums and fucktard slim cannot play them.I am worthless.

Happy tomorrow, dilusional today.

Hi!I cannot sleep, I have even gone to the lengths as to clean my room. At night, at 11 at night. How odd, my parents must think I am doing drugs. But I went to bed and there was dog hair and dog and make out smell and it was GROSS! I didn't want to be there so I folded clothes and picked up clothes tags and ticket stubs and binder rinds from my floor. I put my dressy clothes in my closet and fixed my cable box on my new TV. I shoved the damned pug off my bed and took of the quilt cover- he is now on the bed covered in the dirty coverlette. Good ridenece. Loveline is over so I have put on my soothing sad emo. I wanted to do my french; I truly did but it was so long and I cannot understand if we write the entire examples worth, or paraphrase. I have to ask Kris; I have a lot of makeup shit.TO DOChinese American ReportFolklore of Chinese peopleDiary of a chinese doctor guy from Waiting.256 a-c in french II textEvery math homework ever assigned this quarterStudy formulas for chapter 10 test in math on Thrusday.Ride Penny (urg, spoo, I haven't ridden in forever.)Bike with Kris.Finish learning D flat, G flat and G scale patterns****And I have to do it all tomorrow! Wednesday, I mean, wait- today. Oh, i will be very angry I was not asleep tonight. Ah, grammer going- I think I might be getting tired!Alas; perhaps some hot cocco, but then I realize that the company that makes swiss miss also is the company (Con Agra) that visciously kills millions of innocent cows every year. I will see my OWA on friday; saturday I am going to Salvation Army w/ Tom and a show at night with Kris and maybe Tom and Miles. Its at some church and it will probably be lame but something to do nonetheless. Where did all my spaces go?Sunday I have USPC; then freedom, oh sweet and tangible freedom,glistening on my lips and pasting to my soul an irremovable tumor, that throughout the week will sob, 'Free yourself! Free! I cannot find my muse to finish my novel in this classless glass and cement prison! Run like a deer from the hunter, sweet girl- RUN!' My dad read my story and critqiued it; so I wrote in some of his suggestions, took a couple out, and I have yet to edit the newest edition to chapter II. I will see if Vic likes it tomorrow.Sleep- shall I come to the vast shore of ye (seems more fitting than you)Or shall I float forever helplessstrung by silver thread above promising blacknessdangled in my own universethat insomina has created.My my, I am quite the nerdy emo kid when I am tired.Good night, sleep tight. Wake unto the morning light!Ahaha, hah.Slim